When all else fades away; I'll still look towards You.
Guess I've know myself more a little this holiday, thanks to Step ah.
Actually, I don't even think I know myself well.
I'm actually quite an indecisive person, fickle-minded, kept changing my decisions after I'd made them.
Well well.
Prob, it all came to this : Laziness.
I'm quite a lazy person actually.
Not even wanting to step out of the house to go town. Haha.
Had another weird dream again on Tues!
This time, it's about S coming to my previous house!
It's like playing a game of Hide & Seek with his own friends, and they happen to need to seek at my home. Seriously, illogical but still quite sweet in conclusion. Haha.
I don't know what's the problem man.
Everything I do, or not do, it's just so "not good to her eyes".
Yes, she may be unhappy with whatever she's facing, but still, need she throw everything at me?
Are ALL the responsibilities just on me? How about my other siblings?
Did she even think about how I'd feel about it?
How much I'd be hurt?
Yes, we're all not having an easy time either.
I thought we'd be stronger as we'd all been through one of the toughest times together as a family not so long ago.
As I was just being slightly happier about that, this had to happen.
Why are the cracks still there?
I tried my best doing it, mending the cracks.
But, this is an effort that everyone of the family have to put in.
If there's only one person putting in this effort, then it'd be so tiring for that person.
Ohwell, Ohwell.
Just venting my frustrations here.
When I have my own family and have kids in future, I don't want my kids to go through what I've gone through or am going through.